I used to think I was a weak person, weak and 'weird', but when your own family treat you in such a way, its hard not to take on those perceptions of yourself.
In fact I discovered later that I was actually stronger than I thought, and stronger than them even, because I believed in something... I believed in *me*!
Its so easy to conform, to do as 'they' do, avoid ridicule, teasing, ostracising. But despite all that, I stood strong to my truth.
Being vegetarian may not seem such a big deal to most, but for me it is a big deal, its more than a diet choice, its a moral one, an ethical one, an aware one and a loving one. It's a choice I made to listen to myself, to open up and be aware and trust in my own feelings, my empathy and my intuition.
Being around animals, and especially farm animals, I could not deny that these animals were just like me, they showed me their joy, their humour and their love, they showed me how they feel fear and pain, confusion, determination, how they feel attachment and loss.
I just could not see how eating them was right in any way at all. these are beautiful, emotional, sentient beings, and there sure isn't a 'need' to eat them, we can survive fine in the western world without their tortured flesh in our systems, and I loved these animals like I would love my pet cat or dog, I could not bring myself to eat them any more.
Its strange how we in the western world separate and divide not only ourselves as races and classes, but we also separate animals, as pets and domestic.. the ones that enter our homes we would not consider eating, but the ones in the 'garden' we don't blink an eye about eating, and I think that is because we choose to emotionally connect with some animals, and not others, it's not actually about the animals, it's about US!
Its societies conditioning that make you think a sheep or pig is less intelligent or less sentient than a dog, the fact is they are just as emotional, they are just as bright. If you give them a chance to show you, take them away from the herd, bring them into your home, they will show you how strongly they can connect with you, how attached and protective they will become of you, how loving they can be toward you.
Western people are generally disgusted or even outraged when they hear about dogs and cats used for food in other countries, well so am I.. but these same people who complain can't even see how they themselves contribute to this mentality.
Think about it, it sounds insane even when you really look at this .. people profess their love for animals, the amount of cute animal tv shows and countless cute youtube vids prove this, but these same people who 'love' animals, contribute and condone the cruelty, torture, and premature death of these beautiful creatures, and then they consume their flesh without a thought.
This is not what love means to me, to me that's akin to saying you love your wife by beating her with your fist.
We have this idea about the word 'sheep'.. its actually used in derogatory way for people, how we all just follow each other, how we don't stand out, choose our own paths. And its true, generally we do act like sheep. We all know though if you take a closer look there's an individual human being there, perhaps with thoughts of going his/her own way, but its usually fear, and conditioning that keeps them in line. And same for sheep, if you dare to take a closer look, you will find an individual soul, full of character and uniqueness... and also same with sheep, its the fear, and conditioning that keeps them in line. But you show them another way, you show them love and kindness, show them that they don't need to fear you, and they show you their true potential.
So it is my strength that I use my gift that makes me human, its the gift to choose to look inside myself and truly face what many cannot, to look at the truth, to see what I am really doing, to feel that guilt and shame for being a part of the insanity, to feel the empathy, to feel the pain and despair of these souls who are treated badly, tortured and killed to fill my stomach.
I dared to open my heart and see and feel their joy and love and sadness and pain.
I choose to stand alone in my own small way, to endure ridicule and outcasting and disrespect from my own family and work colleagues, and even verbally attacked from some rather ignorant people.
I choose to quietly be true to myself, despite constant overwhelming pressure to comply with the collective.. I stand my ground, and choose not to follow the human herd, because I listen to my heart, and I believe in *me*!.
Image credit:
pinched from this article which is an interesting read:
www.thepeopleslanguage.com/blacksheep
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