MEN

Men!...men are great, I love men (just so you know), some of my best friends are men :p, I love they have this sexual energy 'out there' so to speak, and I absolutely love it when a guy can completely open up to me. Exploring a guys mind and emotions (and body in some cases) can really be a most amazing adventure for me.

So um... this article sent to me yesterday was meant to be funny am sure, but for women who have been cheated on and lied to time and again... not so funny.

But if most men are indeed the way the article describes, then I have a problem... relationship wise...
I'm going to take the word 'married' out of this, as to me being 'married' or in a 'committed relationship' are the same thing.

I suppose I am in a dilemma where relationships are concerned... do I give up, give in?... conceded defeat and accept that, yes most men will lie and cheat given the opportunity, its human nature and there's not a lot you can do about it?
Or do I stay hopeful and pray one day I attract a partner who will respect me, and be honest, and true.
I don't feel there are any reasons to hide or lie in a relationship, or if there is, then, that is not the sort of relationship I would want.

So men are men, I certainly don't think they need to feel shame for just being who they are...men have their needs and desires, as much as women have theirs.
I do believe men cheat for much more than just sex though, perhaps many don't, but men are far more needy I have found than they make out, emotional needs I think are high on the list, if they weren't then they wouldn't be looking for 'connections' with other women, they would just pay for sex... and I know, many do just that.

So read the article, and the comments, and tell me what you think...
Are these just men still living in caves? are more men evolving from this and being more loving, conscious and respectful? are more men than ever nowadays able to communicate more successfully with their partners to eradicate that basic level of existence?

or are we really just fooling ourselves?

The secret lives of married men - Times Online


I actually think the comments were much more interesting than the artcle.. so I took some quotes out for anyone who didnt want to trawl through 20+ pages for the good stuff ..

Recommended movie: 'Brief Interviews With Hideous Men'




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"Women give sex for love and men give love for sex."

"I really don't know how the men function. Maybe we can come up with some medicine for them."


" I've always maintained that if men didn't have this unquenchable desire to have sex with women, then they wouldn't have anything to do with women at all.
I certainly wouldn't."

"Truth is paramount. - Let's be honest, if you cannot talk about events/behaviors/actions in your life to your wife, (and vice versa)then the relationship is screwed. And as for this tit for tat attitude, well, that's just self destructive."

"I really don't want to jump my wife's friends - they're caked in make-up, totally self obsessed and thick as school custard. On the other hand looking after the kids is a piece of cake - they're funny, quick witted and enthusiastic. Finally house work is a doddle, I can clean the entire house , top to bottom , in an hour - watch the 1900's House for a real domestic challenge."

""Instincts" offer a very powerful justification for cheating.. Men have also not adjusted to any other post-hunterer era societal changes, like cars, houses, office jobs, showers, supermarkets.. or porn.."

"i would rather have my husband be dead honest with me (even if it hurts me) than looking me in the eye and lie. Even if lies hurt immediately, it heals faster than when finding out your husband has lied to you all along(and believe me it is only a matter of time before they do)."

"Thank you SO very much for destroying any inkling of faith I may still have had left in the male species. I'm off to buy a Shih Tzu."

"there are two types of men, those that have affairs and those that would if they could and thought they could get away with it"

"I'm a man, not an animal, and as such I have a conscience. There is no way that I could engage in an affair without thinking about my wife. I have not, and will never, cheat on her."

"There are also very serious health issues. Even when condoms are used they may not be 100% safe. How very wrong to give your unsuspecting partner who trusted you HIV/AIDS, syphillis, chlamydia, gonorrhoea, herpes or crabs, or a combination of those;" ETC

"Is this what men have reduced themselves to? Being stuck in a teenage emotionally stunted state needing another Mummy? "

"wow! Someone could actually read this and come away thinking that it will never be possible to have a good relationship!"

"People stray from their relationships, often, because they are not getting what they need from it. In some cases what the person "needs" is several people."

"Lets get a few things very clear on the difference between thinking of something, wanting something, and doing something. "

"Surely if you feel the need to stray then you are with the wrong person?...So why don't you do them and yourself a favour and move on! Whatever happened to self/mutual respect?"

"It is like having your cake and eating it, as a mature adult you should always be able to leave the cake alone...."

"To be faithful is so strong. It really separates the men from the boys. I do understand boyish men but I don't admire them."

"If you don't have sex with your husband and give and take affection, he has every right to find those things somewhere else. "

"I think what depresses me most is the excuse 'I'm sure the partner knows' as justification to do whatever pleases themselves."

"It's quite possible for people to find partners that they never feel the need to stray from, but from a biological standpoint alone, that almost always requires the female to have a high libido, which is pretty rare after a certain point."

"I don't want to agree with this article, so I won't."

"This explains a lot of why men cheat. Some can be faithful to one woman while others are just needy and need more sex period. "

"Men should always be viewed as a limited company in which their balls own a majority of the voting stock."

"I had an affair with a married guy once, it lasted about a month. It made me feel bad, like I was the one cheating on his wife."

"I don't believe vows of monogamy should be standard for a marriage, almost all people break them. Why not make a realistic marriage vow: "I love you, will honor you, cherish you. I won't obey you, constrain you or limit you. We'll both take care of the kids & house, we'll share the duties & benefits, try to please each other & watch out for each other. And if either of us decides we're not getting what we need from each other, we'll find it somewhere else. No jealousy, no lies, nothing hypocritical."
That's love. To me. "

"The "spreading one's seed" theory is an HYPOTHESIS, it is not TRUTH. Be wary of any pseudo-Darwinian language like that as there is zero way to corroborate it."

"Speaking to female friends when they have problems with their husbands it seems to be because they want there husbands to be less true to their male side and more female in their outlook. This isn't going to happen."

"it seems not right to cheat,but if that makes a better marriage, maybe it's worth cheating. everyone have the possibility to have an affair,consciously or unconsciously."

"Not exactly rocket science. If you're with someone who lies (man or woman) then you're with the wrong person. Men and women are not as different as society/media make them out to be. Their similarities outweigh their differences and no-one wants/likes being lied to."

"Stereotypical and totally false. I do not know of 1 other man who thinks this way. I wouldn't want to know such shallow mindless uncontrollable fools. Maybe my friends and I are the exception."

"Man has at least three faces, the one he shows the world, the one he shows his wife and the one only he knows."

"We try to be faithful, we're willing, we reason with ourselves, we're shocked at our inclinations and then at our behaviour...But fidelity to one woman is just too much in the long run. Or even in the extended short run."

"Men and women are different. Men know that; women just can't seem to understand it"



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